Four Mini Rants

So I have a great story to share with you guys and gals, but I just can't find the time to write it all down just yet. So, while you wait, enjoy these short mini ranting stories from the desk this week.

Ch. 1 Toddlers Can't Read. Duh!

We have hot water in our lobby for tea and hot chocolate. It's in a container that has a sign right in front of it that says, 'Hot Water'. I know, pretty self-explanatory.
So the other day this woman wheels her toddler over to the beverage station, makes herself a tea, then leaves the stroller parked next to the beverage station while her tea steeps and she checks her phone. No big deal right? But, the toddler decides he wants to stand up in the stroller and reach for the thing that mommy just got wa-wa from. I see whats about to happen and say to the lady...
Me: Ma'm... Ma'm! Your son is about to pull that towards him.
She looks up, sees the boy, gasps, then grabs him and sits him in the stroller before wheeling him away.
Lady: You guys should have that marked or something! That's dangerous with kids around!
Me: Well, it is marked. It says 'Hot Water'
Lady: Well he can't read that!
What I wanted to say: Yes. I know. That's where parenting comes in. Keeping an eye on your children and teaching them not to touch things that could possibly hurt them.
What I said: Yes, well... um...
Lady: Ugh!
She then packed the stroller with other random stuff she was carrying and left the lobby. Thankfully I never saw her again during her stay. I felt like a tool for not saying what I wanted to but wise for just letting my 'um' hang out there and speak for itself. My continued employment probably thanks me for that too.

Ch. 2 My Wedding Weekend

The phone rang the other night at about 8 o'clock. Mid-week, not a lot going on. Been pretty quiet. Everyone was gearing up for Valentine's Day weekend when our town also hosts a huge outdoors-man type festival that brings about 50K people to town. Oh and did I mention it was Valentine's Day weekend?
Guy: Oh hey! Um, I'm getting married down there and was wanting to check on some room rates and availability.
Me: Ok Sir. No problem. Which dates did you have in mind?
Guy: Oh. This Saturday night.
Me: I'm sorry, did you say this Saturday? Valentine's Day? The 14th?
Guy: Yeah we're getting married down there man and... I forgot to book us some place to stay. I took care of everything else I just... forgot about a hotel room for the actual night.
Me: Well I am sorry to report Sir, but we are sold out for that night and have been for some time.
I felt both bad for this guy and his bride to be all at the same time. What a goofball! You're getting married on, (first of all gross), Valentine's Day, on a destination style wedding, and you don't have a hotel room booked?
Guy: Yeah man, I'm having trouble finding a place down there. Is there something going on this weekend?
Me: Well aside from Valentine's Day, there is also _____ the huge festival happening.
Guy: Aw dang it! I guess I should have thought about this.
Me: Best of luck to you Sir. Please do check our website for availability for any future stays with us!

Ch. 3 Cable Outage

An in-house call hits my phone around 9pm on a Friday.
Me; Thank you for calling guest services how may I be of assistance?
406: Has anyone else reported a cable outage?
Me: No ma'm. Are you having TV problems.
406: Well yes! I think you're having a cable problem. I wouldn't be surprised if it were the whole city! This thing is just blank!
Me: Let me send my houseman right up to you and take a look at that.
406: Oh it ain't gonna work. This whole thing is shot.
Now, when you hit the remote in our rooms to turn on the TV it's double action, meaning it turns on the TV and the cable box at the same time. If you have say your purse or a book sitting on the TV stand blocking the cable box in any way and you just 'punch' the power button rather than holding it down, the cable box won't turn on. Even if something is blocking it and you hold it down for any amount of time, both of them will turn on. But... try explaining that to AARP members over the phone.
Of course my houseman returns to tell me that in fact her purse was blocking the box (shocking!) and that all was well.
Phone rings.
406: Oh hey! Your boy just fixed the cable. You can call them and tell them there isn't an outage and they shouldn't send anyone out.
Me: (eyes about to roll out of my head at the thought of Comcast sending a tech on a Friday night for nothing short of their CEO hanging from a cable in our lobby) Will do Ma'm. You have a great night.

Ch 4 Boston Strong

I really have a problem with people who self identify with things that they aren't. And, I just down right don't like this phrase 'Boston Strong'. Now for those of you that might read this and know someone who was affected by the Boston Bombings or might of been there yourself that day, this may not apply to you. And if that's the case you're probably not like the guy that walked into my lobby tonight.
This guy pulls up in his Volvo station wagon and he and his wife get out. They are both mid to late 40s and like most Americans could stand to lose a few pounds. She is dressed almost business casual, nice but not overly fancy but you can tell that they have a bit of money based on her accessories and possible nose job. He is wearing elastic wasted wind pants and a sweatshirt with (in bold lettering) the words Boston Strong across the chest.
BS: Sure is cold out there tonight!
Me: Good evening Sir. Sure is. Are you checking in with us?
BS: Well let me tell you, it's not as cold here as where we're from... BAsTon!
He then kind of snickers, snorts and says, "ya know what I mean?" while (I shit you not) using both his thumbs to point at the Boston Strong printed on his sweatshirt.
What I wanted to say: No. I don't know what you mean Sir. Are you saying that because you live in a frozen city for 6 months out of the year that somehow makes you strong or are you insinuating that it just makes you stronger than most; or a special kind of strong known only to the brave few who dare to call Boston home? Or are you saying that you, simply by being a member of Boston's population, were a part of stopping a terrorist threat to the rest of the nation? Are you saying that that core American by birth Bostonian by the grace of God belief that you have is somehow translated onto that sweatshirt and therefore announces to me all that you are? Or. Sir. Are you just saying that you own a home in the greater Boston area and once it gets too cold there you make your annual migration to Florida stopping at every tavern and inn along the way to sing the praises of your city and the awesome power of her native sons? Is that what you mean???
What I said: Oh. Sure. So, checking in for the night?


Until next time my fellow desk riders. Keep checking them in and checking them out!